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At the very least, I'll go back to the colo on Friday and reattach the second HDD (assuming I can make the mirroring work with it on, which is the current problem).
If I can't get a tested procedure, I'll have to reinstall the system from scratch.
After careful consideration, and running through the options and probabilities, Caroline and I have decided that the course of action that minimises both recovery time and the risk of data loss is to reinstall.
So fairly early on Friday, I'll down teaparty, back it up to removable media, and reinstall cleanly under UEFI booting. This means it'll be much like last Monday-Wednesday, in that services will come back one at a time. However, things should go faster than last time, because the time cost of translating all the service configs to Debian has already been paid; I'm hopeful that by the end of Friday we'll have email back, at least.
I'm really sorry about more extended downtime, but we think this is the option that has the best chance of success in bounded time. If it's going to be a disaster for you, please let me know asap.
- Tom